Words of wisdom from Graham Cooke...
Some situations weigh heavily on our conscience. We cannot make agreement with people no matter how much we love them. There is a very great problem in some church circles with leadership being out of control. Some leaders rule over their people in a very unhealthy and ungodly way.
The proper structure of authority in the church is firstly God; secondly, the infallibility of Scripture; thirdly, the conscience of the individual; and finally, delegated authority recognized through apostles, prophets, and local eldership teams.
True leaders, ones with a fathering heart, will always teach people how to live in and before God. They will not violate people’s conscience but will nurture it and appeal to it in times of tension. The apostle Paul spoke about how “by manifestation of the truth commending ourselves to every man’s conscience in the sight of God” (2 Cor. 4:2)
In some churches and organizations, delegated authority is placed ahead of conscience. Leaders control how people think and behave. People are not taught how to grow up in God, but how to submit to leadership. In some cases, to have a different viewpoint than your leaders is seen as being rebellious or a troublemaker. The process of alienation begins so that your “Jezebel spirit” does not contaminate the rest of the body. In my understanding of the Jezebel syndrome, the problem was with designated leadership using prophecy and power to control and manipulate the people (see 1 Kings 16-21; 2 Kings 9).
Leaders are meant to be so in love with God and to display such great humility and servanthood that, by their fathering spirit and example, they provide a model in self-government. They teach people about self-control (one of the fruits of the Spirit) and how to live in their conscience before the Lord. Paul spoke to Timothy about the hypocrisy of liars, seared in their own conscience as with a branding iron (see 1 Tim. 4:2). We must not destroy one of the main qualities in people whereby they can receive progressive truth. The conscience of our people must be as highly prized by the leadership as the development of their inner man of the spirit.
Disappointment can lead to frustration, which is another facet of reaction. We can blame others, get mad, or get even. Moving in the opposite spirit to what you are experiencing is a difficult but attainable discipline. Jesus spoke about it in Luke 6:27-28: “But I say to you who hear: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, and pray for those who spitefully use you.”
If you move in the same spirit that your opponents move in, then you establish your own carnality rather than the nature of God.
In reaction, we often suffer a sense of loss and grief. We grieve and sorrow for how things have turned out – at least we should. If we leave angry, we will take longer to process how we feel.
If you feel compelled to leave or are unable to stay in certain circumstances, you must do this next step before you go. If you do not, you will wander in an internal wilderness until the effect on your heart is resolved.
Before we withdraw physically from a situation, people, or circumstances, we need to question ourselves and our motives. We must review all the circumstances, taking on board the opinions of friends and seeking the viewpoint of mature people. We also must correctly diagnose the real reason why we are disaffected. Finally, we must recognize our own part in the failure as well as the failings themselves and deal with them positively and effectively.
These four elements of examining internal motivation, seeking external reviews, coming to an accurate diagnosis, and recognizing our failure, are a critical part of our reflections. If they are done as humbly and as honestly as possible, we can face the circumstances with an open heart and deal with our excess baggage accordingly. Reflection is the unpacking of all the mental and emotional baggage that we gather in the process of gaining closure.
If we work through these with honest transparency before the Lord, then our closure will be a positive learning experience and our capacity to be joined elsewhere will happen much more smoothly. Failure to reflect and learn will mean that the bitterness and the hurt will remain with us to adversely affect our ability to relate in the next place that receives us.
From “A Divine Confrontation” by Graham Cooke
The proper structure of authority in the church is firstly God; secondly, the infallibility of Scripture; thirdly, the conscience of the individual; and finally, delegated authority recognized through apostles, prophets, and local eldership teams.
True leaders, ones with a fathering heart, will always teach people how to live in and before God. They will not violate people’s conscience but will nurture it and appeal to it in times of tension. The apostle Paul spoke about how “by manifestation of the truth commending ourselves to every man’s conscience in the sight of God” (2 Cor. 4:2)
In some churches and organizations, delegated authority is placed ahead of conscience. Leaders control how people think and behave. People are not taught how to grow up in God, but how to submit to leadership. In some cases, to have a different viewpoint than your leaders is seen as being rebellious or a troublemaker. The process of alienation begins so that your “Jezebel spirit” does not contaminate the rest of the body. In my understanding of the Jezebel syndrome, the problem was with designated leadership using prophecy and power to control and manipulate the people (see 1 Kings 16-21; 2 Kings 9).
Leaders are meant to be so in love with God and to display such great humility and servanthood that, by their fathering spirit and example, they provide a model in self-government. They teach people about self-control (one of the fruits of the Spirit) and how to live in their conscience before the Lord. Paul spoke to Timothy about the hypocrisy of liars, seared in their own conscience as with a branding iron (see 1 Tim. 4:2). We must not destroy one of the main qualities in people whereby they can receive progressive truth. The conscience of our people must be as highly prized by the leadership as the development of their inner man of the spirit.
Disappointment can lead to frustration, which is another facet of reaction. We can blame others, get mad, or get even. Moving in the opposite spirit to what you are experiencing is a difficult but attainable discipline. Jesus spoke about it in Luke 6:27-28: “But I say to you who hear: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, and pray for those who spitefully use you.”
If you move in the same spirit that your opponents move in, then you establish your own carnality rather than the nature of God.
In reaction, we often suffer a sense of loss and grief. We grieve and sorrow for how things have turned out – at least we should. If we leave angry, we will take longer to process how we feel.
If you feel compelled to leave or are unable to stay in certain circumstances, you must do this next step before you go. If you do not, you will wander in an internal wilderness until the effect on your heart is resolved.
Before we withdraw physically from a situation, people, or circumstances, we need to question ourselves and our motives. We must review all the circumstances, taking on board the opinions of friends and seeking the viewpoint of mature people. We also must correctly diagnose the real reason why we are disaffected. Finally, we must recognize our own part in the failure as well as the failings themselves and deal with them positively and effectively.
These four elements of examining internal motivation, seeking external reviews, coming to an accurate diagnosis, and recognizing our failure, are a critical part of our reflections. If they are done as humbly and as honestly as possible, we can face the circumstances with an open heart and deal with our excess baggage accordingly. Reflection is the unpacking of all the mental and emotional baggage that we gather in the process of gaining closure.
If we work through these with honest transparency before the Lord, then our closure will be a positive learning experience and our capacity to be joined elsewhere will happen much more smoothly. Failure to reflect and learn will mean that the bitterness and the hurt will remain with us to adversely affect our ability to relate in the next place that receives us.
From “A Divine Confrontation” by Graham Cooke
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